No Cure

There is no cure for crohns disease. It is also not my job to make you feel comfortable with the fact that I have something that has no cure. I don’t need your pity, but I do appreciate your understanding. I do not always accept what is happening to me. I do not always want to run off to the doctor and get that next test. This test will not cure me. The next surgery will not cure me. I will have no guarantee that I will even reduce the medication that I need to maintain remission. Sometimes even I think this sucks.

I am not a fighter. I am not brave. I drag myself out of bed every day and force myself to swallow a dozen or more pills. I pass by food that I would love to eat because I know I will be sorry if I eat it. I force myself to go to the doctor and get my infusion every month. I am not brave about it. I whine and complain when they start the IV. The infusion burns.

If I need help, I will ask for help. I do not mind answering questions but please don’t expect me to soften the answers to make you feel better about being more healthy than I am. I think I do ok with this. Most people with my medical history are on disability, not training for marathons. I choose to do those things, and I work hard to stay as healthy as I am able, which is often more healthy than my so called non-crohnie counterparts.